16.

WEEKLY LISTING: I Get Eggcited Easily

I hate puns, I'm sorry.

I love eggs. I'm not sorry. A week ago I tweeted about my love for eggs because I had a lot of free time at work and took to the internet to find out how to poach eggs. That being said, poaching eggs is a difficult task. Its kind of like the devil of egg making. I'm sure when the devil orders eggs he looks at the chef dead in the eye and asks for his eggs to be poached and watch the chef squirm in fear.

But back to the real story here. I fucking love eggs. I can eat eggs every meal of the day if that was possible. And it is. I've done it. It was wonderful.

Here are dishes that eggceeded my eggpectations (I hate puns I'm sorry).

  1. Eggs Florentine  
    Step 1: Make hollandaise sauce
    Step 2: Poach Eggs
    Step 3: Spinach. Lots of it.
    Step 4: Butter bread with I Can't Believe Its Not Butter!
    Step 5: Assemble like Lincoln Logs, eat in a messy manner
    BEST WHEN: Hungover
  2. Eggs Blackstone
    Step 1: Make Eggs Florentine
    Step 2: Make Bacon
    Step 3: Remember that no person in their right mind likes spinach and use tomatoes
    Step 4: Consume
    BEST WHEN: Spinach sucks. So, always.
  3. Vegetarian Skillet-Baked Eggs with Spinach, Yogurt, and Chili Oil
    Step 1: Google egg recipes at work
    Step 2: Cry because its beautiful
    Step 3: Fall asleep at your desk
    Step 4: Dream about eggs
    Step 5: Don't get fired
    BEST WHEN: At work. Can't have eggs. Weeping into your keyboard.
  4. Benny Burger
    Step 1: Make a burger
    Step 2: Add an egg
    Step 3: Call it dinner
    BEST WHEN: You want eggs for dinner and don't want to be judged.
  5. Arif's Signature Hangover Bowl
    Step 1: Be hungover
    Step 2: Wake up (note: you must state you are going to stop drinking forever at least twice)
    Step 3: Find leftover meat from the night before
    Step 4: Scramble eggs, add meat to pan until eggs are cooked
    Step 5: Garnish with everything Jalapenos (seeds in for more regrets)
    Step 6: Put into a bowl and tell your liver you love it
    BEST WHEN:  Probably on Saturdays. And Sundays too. I'm not here to judge.

ps. did you miss me?